• The Intimology School

Sex & Endometriosis

Updated: Jun 29, 2020

There is no doubt that living with endometriosis affects our quality of life. It impacts our sexual life each in a different way. It is a complex disease that so many of us womxn suffer from and we suffer in silence. The consequences can mean our relationships hurt, our bodies experience pain, our mental health endures and sexually all of these begin to interfere and disturb our desire and orgasmic phase. So we miss out on pleasure.

Join our impressive panel of Shero’s and discover everything you need to know about living with endometrioses. From relaxation methods, non-demand penetrative pleasure, guided physical therapies, taking care of your vulva daily to learning how to talk about it - all the ways to help improve your quality of life and live a sexually fulfilled life.

Venus Libido

Illustrator, Presenter & Mental Health Advocate, Venus Libido is not only an Endometriosis Health Advocate but also someone who is living her best life with it, Venus will be taking us through;

  • Sex & endometriosis from a personal view

  • Diagnosis

  • How it affects her sex life

  • The best toys and products to use

Kate Moyle

Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist, Kate Moyle will be guiding you through;

  • How you can design your sex life around Endometriosis -

  • Redefining sex

  • How Endo can impact intimacy with yourself and others

  • How you can reduce painful sex

Dr Brooke Vandermolen

As an Obstetrics & Gynaecology Doctor, Dr Brooke will be guiding you through; ⁠

  • What might happen when you go to see your GP⁠

  • Referrals to an OBGYN⁠

  • Tests and treatments⁠

Dr Naomi Sutton

As a Sexual Health Consultant & Dr on @channel4 #thesexclinic Dr Naomi will guide us through ;

  • The basics of Endometriosis⁠

  • Painful sex⁠

  • Vaginismus ⁠

  • Cervical smear test & STI screens with Endo⁠

  • Contraception and pain relief

"As a health care professional, it is difficult, in fact impossible, to know everything about every condition we come across. It is sometimes even more difficult to grasp how the condition is affecting someone’s life. If you do have this condition I would encourage you to be an advocate for other women and educate the public and health care professionals about how it is for you.⁠ ⁠ Painful penetrative sex can happen for a number of reasons but Endometriosis is a common one. This can have such an impact on a person self-esteem and cause relationship difficulties, especially if communication between partners is not good. ⁠ ⁠ If you struggle with penetrative sex, do not let this define you. It does not make you any less of a woman or any less of a sexual being. We need to move away from the script we are taught at school that penis into a vagina equals sex. It is so so so so so so so much more than that!!!!"


Painful penetrative sex can happen for a number of reasons but Endometriosis is a common one. This can have such an impact on a person's self-esteem and cause relationship difficulties, especially if communication between partners is not good. 

If you struggle with penetrative sex, do not let this define you. It does not make you any less of a woman or any less of a sexual being. we need to move away from the script we are taught at school that penis into a vagina equals sex. It is so so so so so so so much more than that!!!! (I could rant a lot about this!!!)

Having had my rant, if penetrative sex is something you enjoy or want to continue to try the Ohnut is definitely a good option.

Cervical Screenings

“Let’s be honest, no one really enjoys going for cervical screening, and having this done when you suffer from endometriosis and pain can be even more daunting. If you do have concerns please voice them to whoever is doing the test. We can adapt to the size of the speculum. The one in the photo is no bigger than my finger and if this is all you can tolerate then this is what we will use.

If we are aware of your pain we can ensure we are more sensitive to this, and take things very slowly.

The most important thing you can do is to show up and try to relax. If you want a friend with you to help you relax check this is OK before you go. They can always stand at the head end, hold your hand and cheer you on!!😉

This might sound stupid but please remember to keep breathing and never, never worry about whether you have or haven’t trimmed your lady garden, or shaved your legs, or if you have odd socks on, or what your vulva looks like! I promise we really don’t care, we just want to help you feel as comfortable as you can be while performing this really important test.

Cervical screening has been proven to pick up early cancerous changes and might just save your life.

A great place to look for more information, help and sensible advice go to The Eve Appeal

Hormonal Contraception

One of the first-line treatments for endometriosis is hormonal contraception as this aims to reduce bleeding and pain and stop endometriosis from getting any worse.

The hormonal coil works by releasing progesterone at very low levels directly into the womb. The vast majority of women using this method will experience a reduction in bleeding and 20% of women will have no bleeding at all by twelve months of use.

This coil has the added advantage of being very effective contraception; Good if you are not ready to take the leap into motherhood. It lasts for 5 years and can be forgotten about, unlike pills which you have to remember to take every day. On the talk of motherhood, you DO NOT need to have had a baby to have a coil fitted. I fit them all the time in women who have not had any children and the overwhelming majority breeze through it.

Patients may have tried pills or the Depo or implants and not got on with these due to hormonal side effects. The hormonal coil is the lowest dose of hormonal contraception you can use and it is rare to get hormonal side effects because the hormone is delivered directly to where it needs to be (the lining of the womb). 

Once fitted we no longer recommend any follow-ups unless you have any problems, for example not being able to feel your threads. One in twenty coils will be expelled so we always recommend feeling for threads which lie flat against your cervix after fitting. If you have never felt it before, your cervix feels a little like the texture of your nose and most women can feel it at the top of the vagina by inserting two fingers. We leave the threads about 3cm long and, contrary to myths, they do not poke any penises which might venture up there. Your partner shouldn't be able to feel any difference during sex.

If you think this is the method for you, talk to your health care professional about it and check out http://www.fpa.org.uk for more information."

Thanks to Venus Libido, Kate Moyle, Dr Brooke Vandermolen and Dr Naomi Sutton for their contribution. To find out more about them, please visit our experts page on this website.


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